‘Sideways’ highlights trauma, resilience, healing

By Rob Vogt
It is a story of resilience and hope.
Bob Wilkie was a talented hockey player, the ideal blend of size, speed and talent, on the track towards playing professional hockey.
Then, on Dec. 30, 1986, the unthinkable happened.
Wilkie was playing for the Swift Current Broncos when their team bus crashed on an icy road.
Four of Wilkie’s teammates – Trent Kresse, Scott Kruger, Chris Mantyka and Brent Ruff – died in the crash, and he would never be the same.
He struggled with the trauma of that incident for decades, but made his way back, and is now helping others along their mental health journey.
Wilkie’s story is documented in the film “Sideways”, produced by Shayne Putzlocher.
He was at the Stavely Community Centre on Monday, March 9, to introduce the film.
“The message is community and building healthy communities,” Wilkie said.
After “Sideways” was finished, Wilkie and Shawn O’Grady, a professional mental health clinician, then shared some important points about mental health.
Wilkie opened by encouraging everyone to become trauma informed.
O’Grady said there is a lot of noise and activity following a tragedy or trauma.
“Then it gets really quiet,” he said, noting people then settle in to experiences after the trauma.
“That’s often when the most important work is.”
O’Grady said at the six-month mark, is when things begin to make sense.
That’s why he encouraged everyone to talk to people in the community and check in with each other.
Wilkie said part of understanding trauma is that seeing or hearing someone else’s story can bring up your own. It can activate something you may have put away. Stuff that happened before can come back now.
That’s why he created igotmind.ca – to try and build safe environments.
“When you can understand what trauma is,” Wilkie said. “You’ll start to know what you need to do.”
O’Grady added it is easier for people to avoid and isolate. He advocates instead for people to connect.
“It’s amazing to realize there are people in the world who care,” he said.
Wilkie also stressed the importance of community.
“When we were together, we were okay,” he said. “Community is one of the most important things we need to have.”
It is easy to be alone now, he added. Trauma can separate people, but community can bring them back together.
“It’s the united front that’s always going to make you feel better,” Wilkie said.
He also stressed the importance of self-regulation and taking care of yourself.
That includes getting enough rest.
“If you’re not resting enough, the machine won’t work,” Wilkie said.
“(When struggling) the most important thing is focusing on yourself,” he continued. “Only then, could I experience the life I wanted.”
Wilkie’s final message was the power of journalling, and writing things out.
“If we don’t get it out,” he said. “It’s going to stay in.”
This was the 13th showing of “Sideways” across Canada, and comes after the recent crash that claimed the lives of three members of the Southern Alberta Mustangs hockey team, who are based in Stavely.
The evening was presented by Stavely Strong, a community initiative created to support the wellbeing, care and recovery of all those affected within the community.
Chantel Scott, of Stavely Strong, introduced the evening.
“The biggest thing for me is our mental health,” she said. “We have to take care of ourselves and each other.”